It’s not easy, it’s not fun and hopefully, it’s not frequent, but it is sometimes necessary to say you’re sorry when you’re part of a couple. Here are a few tips to help you make the most of your mea culpa!
1. Give your boyfriend some time to himself. He may just need a little time to himself to work things out. Trying to do something too soon could start the fight or argument again and leave you worse off than before. Give him time alone so he can cool off and improve your chances.
2. Give him his chance to vent his anger. You may have given him his space but when you tried to talk to him he still got angry again. It’s our nature to be defensive when we feel threatened so try your best to resist yelling back, let him get it out of his system. Once he gets it off his chest he will calm down and be more open to talking to you.
3. When you tell your boyfriend you are sorry, be sincere about it. People have a way of seeing through someone when they are lying to them. If you are really sorry tell him otherwise you could do more harm than good for your situation.
4. You may find out that this is going to be more difficult than you thought. If you really want to save your relationship you will have to think long term and work at it. You do not want to come across as needy or pushy because this will make you look desperate. He needs some time to work through it o, be careful with what you say and do but don’t let him take advantage of you. You may have to walk a fine line between while looking for results.
5. Do paraphrase what he’s saying. Paraphrasing lets someone know that you’re listening. Saying, “OK, you’re upset because I didn’t reply your text on time—I understand where you’re coming from” will be a lot more effective than just nodding your head as he rants. Paraphrasing what he is saying makes him believe you understands what he is preaching.
6. Do let him know how things will be different
Women communicate to build relationships, but men communicate to solve problems. So while a fight with your BF can end with a hug, your dude wants to hear a plan. Let him know that you understand his point of view, and you will work on X, Y or Z in the future.
1. Don’t tack on unrelated complaints
We’ve all experienced this—you confront someone about an issue and the person responds with, “Oh yeah? Really? Well you also didn’t pick calls when I did call even thou you told me your phone was on silence” Um, that has nothing to do with anything! Don’t hijack the argument and try to make him the bad guy unless it’s truly legit. All this will do is prolong fixing the issue at hand and irk you both even more.
2. Don’t keep bringing it up
In the few days after a fight you’ll think of 1,000 different arguments to counter his, but don’t reopen the wound. Once the apology is accepted, let it be. My Mum always says, “You can be right, or you can be happy.” Sometimes having a peaceful, harmonious relationship means conceding defeat every once in a while.
How do you handle apologizing to your guy? Are you usually the one to say you’re sorry first? What are your key rules for ending a spat? How does your guy apologize to you? Pls share yours.
Posted By: CherishedPholar
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