Take an interest in his interests.
Remember what he likes to do and
what he likes to talk about. You don’t have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he’s such a fan. If he loves a band, try to understand why. If he just loves to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be his way of releasing stress. In learning to accept his unique way of being, you’ll also be
learning more about yourself and
ultimately whether you could see
yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. You don’t have to take an interest in all of his interests. If he loves watching baseball but you just can’t get into it, that’s fine, too. Just asking about his interests and talking about the things that matter to him can be enough.
Learn to work as a team.
As in any healthy relationship, you’ll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. In a team, you have each other’s back,
you don’t undermine one another and you openly cherish each other in front of others. In times of hardship, a team approach can help you to work through problems in a less emotionally attached way, in that both of you assume responsibilities for fixing things rather than expecting one or the other to fix things.
—-Avoid having a “one track”
relationship in which the bond
revolves around one thing. Keep
your relationship strong by
bringing variety and diversity into
the relationship. Try different and
new things together. Relationships
are about having fun together,
learning together and growing
Complement him more than you
criticize him . If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he won’t look forward to seeing you and he’ll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don’t always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend.
Tactfulness is a better strategy in
mature relationships and establishing boundaries and making compromises are important relationship strategies
to learn and adopt. Though you can bring up a valid criticism when it feels right, you should say at least four positive things about him for every negative thing you say. Don’t nag him just because you’re in a bad mood or things aren’t going perfectly.
Learn to compromise. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to learn to compromise instead of fighting or being angry the second you don’t get your way. To compromise well, you both have to be able to calmly and rationally discuss a situation while understanding the other person’s perspective. Try to
understand where your boyfriend is coming from instead of blindly
focusing on what you think you need. You don’t want to be that girl who always gets her way just because your boyfriend would rather give in than stand his ground because you get so angry and upset whenever things don’t go your way.
Give each other space.
You should support your boyfriend, but you should also be able to “be there” for him in spirit when you’re not actually around. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then you have to make time to do your own thing, to hang out with your girlfriends, and to see your
boyfriend. He should know that you’re thinking of him and rooting for him even if you’re not around. If you feel insecure and doubt the strength of your relationship the second you’re apart, then you have a problem.
You should support your man if he
just wants to have a night out with
his boys instead of trying to hang
out at a “boys only” event. You
don’t want your boyfriend to get a
reputation for being that guy who
is so whipped that he has to bring
his girlfriend everywhere. If you feel entitled to all of his time
and attention, learn how to not be
an obsessive girlfriend. Don’t be an overly protective girlfriend; let him go out without him feeling
watched. Remember that he doesn’t need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don’t take it personally, recognize it for what it is––his time to rejuvenate and to share different interests with others. But do make sure he knows that you’re always there for him.
More to come in part 3. Did you enjoy reading. Please share your view too. Drop your comments below.
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